| ADVISE | The approval sought for doing something one has decided to do. |
| AGING | A process in which a man loses his hair, his illusions, and what little patience he may have had. |
| BUSINESSMAN | A man who spends time making money and then spends money killing time. |
| COLLEGE | An institution which some attend to pass examinations, others to pass time and still others to pass footballs. |
| PROFESSOR | A guy who's paid to study the sleeping habits of students. |
| DREAMS | The free movies of sleep. |
| HATE | A luxury no one can afford. |
| HUSBAND | A fellow who co-stars at a wedding and from then onwards has a supporting role. |
| INTUITION | Suspicion which turns out to be true. |
| LIFE | What happens to us while we are making other plans. |
| LUCK | Good planning carefully executed. |
| MODERN WIFE | One who knows what her husband's favorite dishes are and the restaurants that serve them. |
| SMILE | A curve that can set a lot of things straight. |
| TELEVISION | Chewing gum for the eyes. |